It was a memorable birthday party, as all such parties should be. The Bistro threw it for W's 50th, and so many people came for her despite the torrential rains flooding streets city wide.
They are an eclectic group of people which make for my favorite type of party. Ages ranged from 30's to 80's plus one honorary, energetic 93 year-old auntie. Dear old friends and dear new ones brought their natural abundance of joy.
As hosts, it is so wonderful when guests comfortably mingle, genuinely interested in each other. That gave me time to keep glasses filled while I prepped the food to come. Also as with such parties at the Bistro, there comes a time for speeches. They are usually to give weight to the event or introduce people, so as this afternoon turned into evening, my speech was to celebrate a beautiful soul, known on these pages as W.
Blessed are those of us gifted with cherished romantic love. Fewer of us are gifted twice. Because I have been, my little speech came first, as a way of trying to explain that very thing.
W was born under the sun sign of Taurus. I gave examples of how clearly she is that bull. Then I shared how from the early sparks of our chemistry, she reminded me of Spoke. Many little things! I struggled. I questioned. Was I projecting? Did I so badly want her to be like him? Would that make my leap easier?
Turns out, her sun sign is Taurus but her rising sign is Aquarius. Bohm!
Where our sun signs are our core, our ego & id, our rising signs are the side of us we present to the world. Spoke was Aquarian, my mother was Aquarian, friends are... I know of these people well, I love these people, and so it all began to make sense.
I can write pages on Aquarian behaviors, but to connect back to the party... a main behavioral characteristic is that they are non-conformists. They beat to a different drum. They often go out of their way not to conform. So, in planning, even though W had chosen Italian cookies over a traditional cake (no surprise there), we would at some point want to sing to her, but my heart knew The Happy Birthday Song was not an option; not for this non-conforming Aquarian rising bull.
I chose Auld Lang Syne and a dear friend from W's past, played guitar to lead us in the singing.
Should old acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot
and the days of auld lang syne?
It is a Scottish song, a tribute to life is short and recognizing that these are the good days so let's raise a glass honoring people present and people passed. It is historically used to close out evenings or events; a soulful finale. And most of all, and very fittingly, it is used to say goodbye to one year and welcome a new one.
There were a few tears wiped away before W took what was a very brave measure for her, and gave a heartfelt speech. She took us not just from the passing of one year into another but her painful journey from the beginning of a decade to its beautiful ending.
Her words were full of hints to me which only I would know, but it also thanked all the people who have watched her and helped her walk through hell but come out gleefully floating on a serene cloud.
Here is her personal draft which she read from that night. After our many, many, many comical conversations about legitimate use of the ampersand, she refuses not to let it be used freely in texts as a substitute for any and she pleases. Proof! Such proof, folks...
She will not conform. Refuses beyond logic. The girl is such an Aquarian.
A wise woman once told me "Life is measured in decades." This nugget of wisdom was passed down to her by her beloved mother.
I have spent a good bit of this week reflecting on that Psalm and I marvel at what this past decade as thrown at me. It began with the end of what can only be described as "apocalyptic chaos." And it was peppered with several intense WTF moments. I have somehow managed to keep a few dear friends through it all; I thank you for sticking by me. Within these "character building opportunities" my salvation has been an ever present peace & lightness of being, reasons to laugh, and occasions to pause and be grateful that have mabbled me in the last three quarters of this decade. During this time I have found myself, found my passion, met a grand batch of new friends, and I have found solitude. But my greatest & most precious find, is Becca. What she has brought into my life is absolutely immeasurable & I am eternally grateful. I promise I'll spend our next six lifetimes together showing my appreciation.
So as I enter into this next phase, I shall raise a glass & with a toast I bid adieu to my forties & greet warmly a fresh decade. I look fwd to the memories, additional laugh lines with my loved ones, & more gray hair.