the gap is wide

 “Nothing exerts a stronger psychic effect upon the human environment, 

and especially children, 

than the life which the parents have not lived.” 

Many of my friends, those childless like myself, or the ones with grandbabies from children of their own, have heard me place blame on the retailers who discovered how profitable the marketing of children could be.

There were tot versions of adult clothes and child sized furniture to match the rooms of grown-ups. The brains behind the concept had made keeping-up-with-the-joneses seem like child's play.

Today, decades later, the marketing is on an even grander scale, with parents' lives being designed with a children first approach, or even dictated by the children themselves. Adults' free time, where they eat most meals, what they buy, their vacation destinations, now seriously cater to children.

In sharp contrast are memories of my childhood.

My parents lived their lives their way. It was rich with friendships and music, seated dinners and neighborhood cookouts. The restaurants we enjoyed and the family vacations we took, were places our parents wanted to go. My sister and I were along for the ride.

One such trip was to New England with a stop in New Haven to visit one of my father's army buddies. We climbed outer iron stairs up to a dark second story apartment, entering through the door straight into a very small kitchen.  At the time I didn't understand what the fuss was about; these adults sitting at a table, in ecstasy eating bread and butter.

That image has loomed large for me over the years. My adult self can almost smell the homemade bread this milkman's wife likely pulled out of the oven as our car pulled up, and I can almost taste the creamy butter they churned. It was not a vacation I would have chosen given a say, but it's a wonderful trip I have since taken over and over and over.

Watching my parents lead their truest lives was a gift and I know my own has been, in large part, enriched purely by my observations. I can't credit them or praise them enough. 

Best wishes to you for a real and glorious life.

(Quote by Carl Jung)