Stockings were opened, bubbly was poured by two pm, love was ever-present in every breath I took, yet ... this felt like the weirdest, off-kilter Christmas Day of my life. Why?
More so than the first Christmas following Spoke's death, or that of both parents' passing four years prior. More so than the several recent Christmases missing my sister who has cocooned on a mountaintop states away. Those were sad but I'm talking weird. This has been a Christmas season that feels undefinably off its axis. Why?
Could be the weather giving us exceptionally warm high seventies degree days within a reputation for average cold spells to hit just before stockings are hung. Yet as more jolly-ness a little chill might contribute, I think we all dread the extremely bitter cold that January and February can bring.
Could the reason be our own lack of extended family, which often is the driving force for the tremendous effort that goes into extravagant holiday meals? I was, by choice, not present or at all invested in the kitchen this year. Very, very weird! Why?
But does quantity - of people, food, or gifts - truly define Christmas or spread more joy? Not sure. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.
These hours later, the fa-la-la-la-la put to bed, I've still no after-glow spirit. Why?
Two more glasses of wine as I type, plus a handful of unsalted roasted peanuts in their shell later ... I don't think I'm any closer to figuring out the Bah Humbug cloud that has hovered over my head.
I know in my gut that one heavy factor is connected to our severely unconnected world. Instead of finding commonality, we, sometimes, blindly, support divisiveness. Each and every social media post contributes. Yet we can't help ourselves because we feel so strongly.
We all embrace our stances and those like-minded, be they sports or politics. They come at a price tho, and as much as I want to direct blame on this very new world, I can't. I remember too well, as a child, the adult conversations around the Weber grill. Their generation was just as divided but they were happier. Why?
We're all going to be okay, I've no doubt. Humanity adapts. even thrives. This little unusual blip in these days of Christmas,
